Ashley Cobb

Imagine waking up to your partner of several years and realizing you don’t enjoy having sex with them anymore. Let’s be honest, being with a partner day in and day out can get a little blah. By now, they have already shown you their best moves, the excitement has faded, their morning breath is more “morniner,” and they fart in their sleep. As a result, the two of you are now walking embodiments of B.B. King’s “The Thrill Is Gone.” But the good news is you’re not alone. Losing sexual desire for y

Dear Ashley, a weekly sex column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! Have a sex question, Ashley, “Your Favorite Friend In Filth,” has an answer. For questions on sex, email Ashley at ashley@sexwithashley.com My boyfriend is 40 and I’m 26. He loves porn a lot and I think it is affecting our sex life. I asked him to get rid of the pornography on his phone which he has done. He has even offered for me to go through his phone, but I said tha

Vaccinations are here, restrictions have eased, and people are officially in the streets again. After a year of limited human interaction, many are ready to mingle, date and explore intimate relationships. For single people, quarantine and safety guidelines totally changed the rules for how to go about it all. COVID restrictions increased online dating activity as well as alternative methods for getting to know someone new. But now that “outside” is open again, experts predict sex is to make a m

Dating is hard. In the dating world, Black women are often made to feel like they aren’t good enough and not worthy of actual healthy, loving and meaningful relationships. Add having herpes to the mix, and things can get even more complicated. There’s such a stigma surrounding sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially herpes. Shame, fear, confusion, and assumptions about herpes is due to misinformation and a general lack of knowledge. The truth is, it’s extremely common. It’s so common

is a sexual activity that involves non-penetrative sexual pleasure. Pretty much anything sexual you do that isn’t penetrative counts as outercourse. Outercourse can be a great way to build your bond as a couple and can be very stimulating and orgasmic. Outercourse can be extremely beneficial for men with erectile dysfunction or women who suffer from painful sex due to endometriosis, vaginismus, fibroids, or scarring (physical and mental) from sexual trauma. Ways to Incorporate Outercourse in th

This year marks the 51st celebration of Pride Month. Every June, millions of people come together in support of the LGBTQ community for Pride Month festivities. However, being an ally is more than just performative. Learning the best ways to show support is an on-going process. To help you become a better ally, here are some best practices for allyship that last long beyond Pride month. Often, the best place to start learning about a thing is to understand why said thing is in existence. Pride

Introducing kink to your partner can feel extremely intimidating. Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you’ve been interested in kink for a while or trying to add some spark to your sex life — figuring out the best way to live out your “Fifty Shades of Grey” fantasies with a partner can be scary and awkward. Fear and discomfort around kink typically stems from misunderstanding what kink is. Kink is described easily as non-conventional sexual practices. Kink can be as simple as touching, kissing, mast

For the past few weeks, many have binge watched the hit show , a show about finding love after incarceration. Episode after episode, I became fascinated with learning more about prison relationships. How does one find love while incarcerated? My curiosity led me to that I found on Facebook — a prison pen pal program. A study by Warwick University that these programs were “likely to raise prisoners’ chances of rehabilitation… through providing someone who accepts them as more than just ‘an offen

Sexting can be a bit awkward if you’ve never done it before, don’t know what to say, or don’t know what your partner likes. Fortunately for you, as your Fairy Sexting Godmother, I have you covered on how to sext successfully. Sexting is indeed a skill, but like most skills in life, it can be learned. In fact, most adults are already doing it. According to , 88 percent of adults reported sexting in the past year. Sexting just isn’t for teenagers anymore. I am a firm believer that if you’re going

We all can learn a thing or two from , about owning your sexuality as a Black woman. She went to respond to the backlash she received about “being too sexy” on . As Black women, we have to fight the pressure society places on us to be upstanding women. We are afraid to be perceived as a sexual being of any kind because society has taught us that sexual liberation equals promiscuity. Respectability politics has robbed a lot of us of the gift of sexual expression. In the words of Antoinette, from

One of the biggest urban legends in the history of sex is the concept of “squirting.” This has sparked some of the most consistent inquiries such as: Is it real? Can every women squirt? Is it pee? The list of questions is endless. When it comes to squirting people tend to fall into one of several categories; those who’ve experienced it, seen it in porn, or simply heard about it. In fact, according to data collected by Pornhub, from 2010 to 2017 searches for “women squirting” drastically increase

It’s been proven that people who talk about their sex lives tend to have better sex lives. Good sex depends on good communication. As simple as that sounds, a lot of couples struggle to find the right words to express themselves without sounding critical or feeling embarrassed. In fact, it used to be easier for me to have the sex talk with my “girls” rather than my partner. I used to worry about how my partner would react. If they would be able to handle it? Would their feelings be hurt? As vali

Intimacy is defined as having a close familiarity or friendship; closeness. Intimacy is an important aspect of every relationship, especially romantic. Oftentimes intimacy is confused with sex and the two are not necessarily synonymous. To that point, the connection you build outside of the bedroom is just as important as the one between the sheets. So it is important to identify you and your partners , to help build a better relationship through nonsexual intimacy. Here are some non-sexual way

My partner and I have been together almost 3 years. He’s been a bachelor essentially his whole adult life. When I moved in with him I discovered that often in the middle of the night he gets up and watches porn and masturbates, all while he thinks I’m sleeping. Our sex life is good, my sex drive is pretty high to the point where I want to have sex every night, but respect his denying it when he’s too tired or not in the mood. I’ve given him a “carte blanche” to wake me up whenever he’s in the mo

Everybody at one time or another has had a confidence issue around sex. You may feel self-conscious about your naked body. Or maybe you're too shy to voice out loud what you really want in bed. Building sexual self-esteem, like regular self-esteem, is an on-going, daily practice. So, to help you get back to feeling your best in the bedroom, I've gathered together a few tips you can put in practice starting today. Get To Know Your Body Reports show that women who know their bodies better have