Ashley Cobb

 I am a sex writer, that brings the conversation of women's pleasure to the forefront. I share my wisdom and opinions about all things sex through my writing. 

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MadameNoire •

I’m ‘HIV Possible’ Too —Why Tamar Braxton’s Decision To Take PrEP Matters for Black Women’s Health [Op-Ed]

Tamar Braxton, the iconic R&B singer, songwriter, and reality TV star, has always been known for her transparency, and her latest Instagram Live video is no different. In a candid and heartfelt conversation with her followers, Tamar opens up about her decision to take anti-HIV PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) medication. She shares that this is part of her ongoing commitment to prioritizing her health while navigating the dating world in Atlanta. Recently separated from her ex, Jeremy Robinson, T...
AFROPUNK •

I am an Ethically Non-Monamgous Black Woman-Yes, We Do Exist! - AFROPUNK

It took me forty years to truly step into my truth—I’m ethical non-monogamous (ENM). Yes, I said it. I know, I know, it feels like everyone and their mama’s hopping on the bandwagon, but this is me. I’m not just following a trend. In fact, unlike Omarion—who recently sat down with Sherri Shepherd to discuss everything from celibacy to his thoughts on monogamy—I’m not doing this because “the women outnumber the men,” as he put it.

And while I can appreciate his honesty, let’s be clear: ethical n...
MadameNoire •

DEAR ASHLEY: What Should I Do If My Partner Wants Anal — And I Do Not? Is There A Backdoor Plan B?

Dear Ashley, a sex advice column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits!  Have a sex question, Ashley, “Your Favorite Friend In Filth,” has an answer. For questions on sex, email Ashley at ashley@sexwithashley.com
 
My partner loves anal, but I do not. I have a hard limit on penetration size, and we’ve never actually tried anal sex. If we never did, I’d be completely fine with that, but I want to see if there’s a way to meet his desires withou...
MadameNoire •

Sexologist Tyomi Morgan Is Shaking Up The Dating Game With The Poly Matchmaking Agency [Exclusive]

Move over Patti Stanger—there’s a new matchmaker in town, and her name is Tyomi Morgan. Tyomi launched the Poly Matchmaking Agency in Atlanta on Feb. 25, offering exactly what the name suggests: a matchmaking service for those who identify as polyamorous.

Polyamory is a relationship style where individuals have more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time, with the consent of all parties involved. It’s a form of ethical non-monogamy that emphasizes open, honest communication and p...
AFROPUNK •

Gossip & 'Gasms: How I Gave Myself the Ultimate Birthday Experience - AFROPUNK

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own ), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and...
Essence •

Exclusive: Billy Porter On Coming Out During The Height Of The AIDS Crisis — 'It Was About Reclaiming My Power' | Essence

In the bright lights of fame, where many are celebrated for their talents, few are as loved and revered for their truths as they are for their art as Billy Porter. Whenever he speaks, his words resonate like an anthem. He walks through life with the conviction that living authentically is not only bravery but also survival. Porter is a powerful voice for marginalized communities, a fierce advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, and a champion for those living with HIV/AIDS. His life’s work is rooted in the...
Women's Health •

'Sylvie's Love' Is A Steamy 1950's Period Piece On Amazon Prime Video

For a sexy film to leave a lasting impression long after the credits roll, it’s crucial to strike an, ahem, satisfying balance between seduction and entertainment. (After all, you’re there for the plot as much as the scenes that get you hot!)

Movies featuring a hefty dose of on-screen eroticism and sexuality have been a staple of mainstream cinema for decades, but now, you don't need to watch any blush-inducing scenes sandwiched between strangers in a crowded movie theater. Amazon Prime has you
Essence •

Let Yung Miami Enjoy Her Golden Showers In Peace

Despite it only being a few weeks into 2023, the trending topic “Pee Diddy” let me know that this won’t be the year we accept sexually liberated Black women as members of society. On a recent episode of her show Caresha Please with guest, rapper Trina, “Yung Miami,” aka Caresha Brownlee, revealed that she enjoys having her partners urinate on her. “Golden showers,” also known as “watersports,” involve urination as part of a kink. A golden shower is when someone urinates directly onto another per
Essence •

8 Couples Share Their Favorite Holiday Traditions

With the hustle and bustle of the season, it can be hard to enjoy the holidays. There’s so much potential to get lost in the true meaning of the holidays—spending time together. No other season has so many beautiful traditions, so it’s essential to celebrate with your community. Whether married or in a long-term relationship, sharing traditions makes the season even more special!

We’ve asked busy couples like you to share some of the traditions that have helped them stay connected and spend qua
Wondermind •

QQ: Are Dating Apps Destroying My Mental Health?

Once upon a time, going on a date with a stranger you met online was a wild idea. (If you’re seasoned like me, your first attempt at online dating probably involved an AOL chat room.) But times and the dating game have changed: There are dating apps that cater to every niche personality trait (Farmer’s Only? Veggly? OK!), helping people find love or casual hookups faster and easier than ever. At least, that’s what they’re supposed to do.

As a sex and relationships writer who has heard (and expe
Essence •

Someone Please Tell Joe Budden That Condom 'Stealthing' Is No Laughing Matter

Recently, Joe Budden, the 42-year-old rapper-turned-podcaster, admitted on a recent episode of The Joe Budden Podcast, which has since been taken down, to have faked using a condom during sex. “Even I done walked in the corner and faked like I was putting a condom on before,” Joe Budden said with a laugh. “That sh– be working. They’re none the wiser!” he said in an audio clip that was originally shared by The ShadeRoom, adding, “Yes, I did that.”

Upon hearing the audio, I was in disbelief and d
Essence •

What ‘A Different World’ Taught Me About Love And Sex

Thirty-five years ago we fell in love with Whitley, Dwayne, Freddie, Kim, and Ron on the iconic show, A Different World. I was only two at the time of the show’s debut in 1987 and did not become an avid viewer until its syndication during the late 90s and early 00s. However, it had a profound impact on my life.

Because of A Different World, a sitcom about a fictional historically Black college, I chose to attend Elizabeth City State University, a real HBCU in North Carolina. The series provided
Essence •

Your Sexual Pleasure Is Your Responsibility, Not Your Partner's

It’s sexual health awareness month and as a sex expert, it’s my responsibility to help women, particularly Black women, realize the importance of prioritizing their sexual health. This can be a difficult feat because we as Black women have been conditioned to put the needs of others before our own, including in the bedroom. For generations, we were denied access to our bodies and the pleasure associated with them, so naturally, prioritizing our pleasure seems foreign. We have become so accustome
Black Love •

Books to Help Black Women Reclaim and Explore Their Sexuality

September is here, and that means goodbye summer and hello Sexual Health Awareness Month. set aside September as the month we observe sexual health with the goal to dismantle taboos and create conversations around pleasurable and safe sexual experiences. Sex and sexuality is still pretty taboo and misunderstood, especially when it comes to Black female sexuality. Women aren’t taught what it means to be sexual. particularly have been hardwired by civil rights, slavery and religion to not center t
Essence •

We Need To Talk About The Troubling 'Designer Vagina' Trend

If you could get surgery to rid you of your camel toe, would you? “Designer vaginas” are the latest trend doing exactly that. Labiaplasty is a controversial cosmetic surgery that has seen an increase due to new fashion trends. It involves shortening the labia–inner lips of the vagina–by removing excess tissue. Labiaplasties have increased 53% from 2013 to 2018 in the U.S., according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. And the reason so many women are choosing to cosmetically r
Essence •

What Should A Vagina Smell Like?

Did you know that “80 percent of women probably need assistance when it comes to female hygiene”? No this isn’t a new statistic from the CDC or World Health Organization. Instead, this information is from actor turned rapper turned talk show host Nick Cannon. He made these comments while appearing on Angela Yee’s Lip Service podcast in June. According to to him, “80 percent of women probably need assistance when it comes to female hygiene. There’s this magnificent 20 percent that have no smell.”
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