Ashley Cobb

 I am a sex writer, that brings the conversation of women's pleasure to the forefront. I share my wisdom and opinions about all things sex through my writing. 

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EBONY •

Black Women Are Reclaiming Kink—and Power

When you hear the word kink, what pops into your head? If you said Fifty Shades of Grey, then, baby, this article is for you.

Kink is SO much more than the whips and chains we’ve been spoon-fed by mainstream media. Sure, that might be part of the fun, but kink is really about freedom. Exploration. Liberation. It’s about stepping outside of the “vanilla” box and daring to ask yourself: What actually turns me on?

Kink is not the same as a fetish. A fetish usually centers on a specific object or...
MadameNoire •

Thriving Through Service: How HIV Gave Kennedi Lowman Her Purpose [Exclusive]

Kennedi Lowman was 29 and thriving in her career as a medical lab scientist at a hospital in Atlanta when her life took an unexpected turn. The call came after she donated blood—a voicemail from the American Red Cross urging her to return the message right away. “In my mind, I’m like, what is wrong with me?” she remembered. As someone who worked in healthcare, she knew exactly what that kind of urgency meant. What she didn’t expect was that the call would reveal she was HIV-positive.Looking back...
AFROPUNK •

Get Naked And Get Free: The Liberating Power Of Nudism - AFROPUNK

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and...
EBONY •

The Rise of Sex-Positive Getaways

Vacations are usually about sipping cocktails by the pool or exploring new cities, but there’s a growing trend centered around reconnecting with one’s sexual self. Increasingly, travelers are seeking getaways that prioritize sexual well-being, offering opportunities to embrace and enhance their sensuality.

During the pandemic, Cult Beauty reported an 850% surge in searches for "sexual wellness" on their site. At the same time, a study from The Kinsey Institute revealed that while sex declined d...
AFROPUNK •

Gossip & 'Gasms: How To Have Your Hottest Hot Girl Summer Yet - AFROPUNK

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and...
AFROPUNK •

Gossip & 'Gasms: “O” Yes, She Did: The Orgasm Education You Never Got—But Always Deserved - AFROPUNK

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own ), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and...
MadameNoire •

I’m ‘HIV Possible’ Too —Why Tamar Braxton’s Decision To Take PrEP Matters for Black Women’s Health [Op-Ed]

Tamar Braxton, the iconic R&B singer, songwriter, and reality TV star, has always been known for her transparency, and her latest Instagram Live video is no different. In a candid and heartfelt conversation with her followers, Tamar opens up about her decision to take anti-HIV PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) medication. She shares that this is part of her ongoing commitment to prioritizing her health while navigating the dating world in Atlanta. Recently separated from her ex, Jeremy Robinson, T...
AFROPUNK •

I am an Ethically Non-Monamgous Black Woman-Yes, We Do Exist! - AFROPUNK

It took me forty years to truly step into my truth—I’m ethical non-monogamous (ENM). Yes, I said it. I know, I know, it feels like everyone and their mama’s hopping on the bandwagon, but this is me. I’m not just following a trend. In fact, unlike Omarion—who recently sat down with Sherri Shepherd to discuss everything from celibacy to his thoughts on monogamy—I’m not doing this because “the women outnumber the men,” as he put it.

And while I can appreciate his honesty, let’s be clear: ethical n...
MadameNoire •

DEAR ASHLEY: What Should I Do If My Partner Wants Anal — And I Do Not? Is There A Backdoor Plan B?

Dear Ashley, a sex advice column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits!  Have a sex question, Ashley, “Your Favorite Friend In Filth,” has an answer. For questions on sex, email Ashley at ashley@sexwithashley.com
 
My partner loves anal, but I do not. I have a hard limit on penetration size, and we’ve never actually tried anal sex. If we never did, I’d be completely fine with that, but I want to see if there’s a way to meet his desires withou...
MadameNoire •

Sexologist Tyomi Morgan Is Shaking Up The Dating Game With The Poly Matchmaking Agency [Exclusive]

Move over Patti Stanger—there’s a new matchmaker in town, and her name is Tyomi Morgan. Tyomi launched the Poly Matchmaking Agency in Atlanta on Feb. 25, offering exactly what the name suggests: a matchmaking service for those who identify as polyamorous.

Polyamory is a relationship style where individuals have more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time, with the consent of all parties involved. It’s a form of ethical non-monogamy that emphasizes open, honest communication and p...
AFROPUNK •

Gossip & 'Gasms: How I Gave Myself the Ultimate Birthday Experience - AFROPUNK

Welcome to Gossip & ‘Gasms, the sex column where we talk about it all—the good, the bad, and the mind-blowingly orgasmic. I’m Ashley Cobb, your resident sexpert, storyteller, and homegirl who will overshare so you don’t have to. Think of this as your group chat’s spicy cousin—the one who keeps it real, spills the juiciest stories (including my own ), and always drops some game along the way.

We’re diving into sex, love, and pleasure from a Black woman’s perspective—unfiltered, unapologetic, and...
Essence •

Exclusive: Billy Porter On Coming Out During The Height Of The AIDS Crisis — 'It Was About Reclaiming My Power' | Essence

In the bright lights of fame, where many are celebrated for their talents, few are as loved and revered for their truths as they are for their art as Billy Porter. Whenever he speaks, his words resonate like an anthem. He walks through life with the conviction that living authentically is not only bravery but also survival. Porter is a powerful voice for marginalized communities, a fierce advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, and a champion for those living with HIV/AIDS. His life’s work is rooted in the...
Women's Health •

'Sylvie's Love' Is A Steamy 1950's Period Piece On Amazon Prime Video

For a sexy film to leave a lasting impression long after the credits roll, it’s crucial to strike an, ahem, satisfying balance between seduction and entertainment. (After all, you’re there for the plot as much as the scenes that get you hot!)

Movies featuring a hefty dose of on-screen eroticism and sexuality have been a staple of mainstream cinema for decades, but now, you don't need to watch any blush-inducing scenes sandwiched between strangers in a crowded movie theater. Amazon Prime has you
Essence •

Let Yung Miami Enjoy Her Golden Showers In Peace

Despite it only being a few weeks into 2023, the trending topic “Pee Diddy” let me know that this won’t be the year we accept sexually liberated Black women as members of society. On a recent episode of her show Caresha Please with guest, rapper Trina, “Yung Miami,” aka Caresha Brownlee, revealed that she enjoys having her partners urinate on her. “Golden showers,” also known as “watersports,” involve urination as part of a kink. A golden shower is when someone urinates directly onto another per
Essence •

8 Couples Share Their Favorite Holiday Traditions

With the hustle and bustle of the season, it can be hard to enjoy the holidays. There’s so much potential to get lost in the true meaning of the holidays—spending time together. No other season has so many beautiful traditions, so it’s essential to celebrate with your community. Whether married or in a long-term relationship, sharing traditions makes the season even more special!

We’ve asked busy couples like you to share some of the traditions that have helped them stay connected and spend qua
Wondermind •

QQ: Are Dating Apps Destroying My Mental Health?

Once upon a time, going on a date with a stranger you met online was a wild idea. (If you’re seasoned like me, your first attempt at online dating probably involved an AOL chat room.) But times and the dating game have changed: There are dating apps that cater to every niche personality trait (Farmer’s Only? Veggly? OK!), helping people find love or casual hookups faster and easier than ever. At least, that’s what they’re supposed to do.

As a sex and relationships writer who has heard (and expe
Essence •

Someone Please Tell Joe Budden That Condom 'Stealthing' Is No Laughing Matter

Recently, Joe Budden, the 42-year-old rapper-turned-podcaster, admitted on a recent episode of The Joe Budden Podcast, which has since been taken down, to have faked using a condom during sex. “Even I done walked in the corner and faked like I was putting a condom on before,” Joe Budden said with a laugh. “That sh– be working. They’re none the wiser!” he said in an audio clip that was originally shared by The ShadeRoom, adding, “Yes, I did that.”

Upon hearing the audio, I was in disbelief and d
Essence •

What ‘A Different World’ Taught Me About Love And Sex

Thirty-five years ago we fell in love with Whitley, Dwayne, Freddie, Kim, and Ron on the iconic show, A Different World. I was only two at the time of the show’s debut in 1987 and did not become an avid viewer until its syndication during the late 90s and early 00s. However, it had a profound impact on my life.

Because of A Different World, a sitcom about a fictional historically Black college, I chose to attend Elizabeth City State University, a real HBCU in North Carolina. The series provided
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